Mama, you are not in this alone

I speak with moms all day long, every day. Most of what we chat about is sleep stuff, but our conversations inevitably lead in different directions. We talk about toddler eating struggles, daily routines, potty training milestones, and all stuff mama-related.

When I became a mother 10 years ago, my world was rocked. I undoubtedly experienced the most intense and instantaneous kind of love, but I also slowly became filled with self-doubt and insecurity. There were so many decisions to be made: would I nurse or bottle feed or both? Did my baby nap on me or in a bassinet? When should I start going to play groups? Did I use the wrong kind of laundry detergent? Was I being irresponsible if I ditched the cloth diapers I’d had my heart set on using?

Ugh…it was exhausting. The 2 things that got me through that first year were support from close friends and family (especially the couple of trusted friends I had that were a year or two ahead of me in their motherhood journey) and mom groups. Some were in person and others were online, but I found support and camaraderie with these other new moms.

Sometimes it was helpful simply knowing that others were experiencing what I was going through and that I wasn’t the only one. Other times, it was their great recommendations or sound advice that was extremely helpful. Either way, it was the support I needed at a life-changing time.

Finding Your Mama Village

Even if you have a solid group of girlfriends or sisters, having a group that is in the same season of life as you can be tremendously helpful. I am not the kind of person who enjoys hanging out with strangers, but I am so grateful that I pushed myself to get out of my comfort zone. I also chose to invest in experts and services that were game-changers at the time.

A Few Ideas For Connection

1. Baby classes like Kindermusik or Gymboree

2. Fitness classes like Fit4Mom where you get together with other moms and your babies and also get in a workout (good for your body AND mind!)

3. Breastfeeding support groups or classes

4. Postpartum support groups

5. Postpartum yoga classes

6. Online Mom Groups (usually can find these by region on Facebook, etc. The bonus is that you’re meeting moms that are also close by, allowing for a potential in-person connection to be made as well)

7. Find some great online content to follow that’s easy and informative. Try @thriveafterbaby for some great postpartum tips

Support Worth Every Penny

Over the past 10 years, I’ve spent money on services that saved time and energy, lowered my stress levels, changed my family dynamic, and saved my mental health.

1. House cleaning service

2. Nanny

3. Meal delivery

4. Lactation consultant

5. Pediatric sleep consultant

6. Therapist (personal, marriage, yoga, and child)

7. Online parenting course(s)

8. ADHD behavioral modification expert

f I could do it all over again, I would. And, I’d invest in a postpartum doula.

What Feels Right To You?

There are all sorts of parenting styles out there. Take what you like from them and ditch the rest. Just because you fall in line with the majority of one philosophy does not mean it has to be all or nothing. 

You can form a close attachment with your kiddo and sleep in separate beds. You can have a loving and gentle parenting style and still have clear boundaries for your kids. Do what feels suitable for you and your family.

Put Your Phone Down

As empowering as knowledge is, too much can be overwhelming. So if you feel like information is coming at you from all angles, STOP and put your phone down. Take a break, trust your gut and reach out to your people. Most importantly, there is no shame in asking for help when you need it. 

Hit ‘reply’ and tell me the best thing you’ve done for support during your first few years as a mother.  Of course, if you need help in the sleep department you can book a discovery call and we’ll discuss options.